Back again, and I must say that it feels...well, comforting I suppose, but something more as well. Its almost difficult to put a finger to it, honestly. Maybe it feels...like I can relax again? But, really I can't; theres the raids, the fighting...but, it kinda is more relaxing. I don't have to worry here, least about things that I would worry about while I'm...out there. So yes, lets go with relaxing.

I've yet to actually see Bryg or T or Kracky, or even the other numerous members of the guild. I did run into Kashii, briefly and it felt nice to see a familiar face. Speaking of familiar faces, I've seen Ryann around alot more than I had for awhile. I do wonder...will he really stay for good, this time? Back forth it always seemed like he went, and I never knew to rely on him at all for fear that if I did, he'd never be around again when I needed him. Then again, theres things...and sometimes things aren't forgotten, merely submerged. Old hurts never are forgotten.

Nonetheless, it was pleasant to talk to him a bit, even though the following trip down the Wall wasn't so amiable. Seems as though his blessings had done little to protect me, and it was then that I remembered that I was still quite a few levels down than the last time I'd visited. And, all for naught as well...useless scrolls of gibberish were all I sacrificed my skin for. I really ought to get to training again, but it seems so much harder-as though I wasn't meant to be strong and accomplished. Ah well, life, right?

Oh, the dreams we erase in those sorrows that we face,
Those fears we seek to hide in wicked lifes wild ride.
Dare to take a chance, dare to launch that lance
And risk missing the target?

Ahhh, these pages which I used to litter with meaningless words, day after day...I have not come back to you til now, for I've felt no need to, no desire. What is there to write about, when each day you do nothing to make a difference? I say this not in sorrow nor regret-merely as the statement of a fact. Very little have I been awake and aware-much to my dismay, as I wish I could do more to help my new guild, my new family. At times, it makes me feel just a bit guilty, and yet...I do it not to replace Shawna and those I have lost, but more like to continue doing what she would have done, continue her ideals and her beliefs. But at the same time, living my own life. I wonder, does that make any sense to someone besides me?
And yet, there are so many yet to be sad over, so many who have left or have simple gone missing...friends I've not greeted in ages, people I've neglected to talk to. To those friends, I am terribly sorry-events beyond this mere rogues control keep me from fighting the good fight. And I'm afraid that it will do so again, for I'm to be away for awhile again.

Til next time, friends and family. I shall look for your faces once again.